


Might not have depression

by Foundtonight



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Depressed Keith (Voltron), Depressed Lance (Voltron), Depressed Shiro (Voltron), Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, maybe depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 21:47:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17733272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foundtonight/pseuds/Foundtonight
Summary: This could apply to any character, I just felt the need to vent. Also I don't know if this is depressionThis could apply for anything,  not just voltron, I just didnt want to have a long list of fandoms.*TRIGGER WARNING*Don't read if you are depressed or suicidal, or self-harm, or suffer from an eating disorder (maybe)You have been warned





	Might not have depression

**Author's Note:**

> Based on experiences. Not been read through
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Don't read if you are depressed or suicidal, or self-harm, or suffer from an eating disorder (maybe)
> 
> You have been warned

"Is this what I think it is?"  
Pointing at obvious and recent self-harm marks,  
"No"  
"It's okay, I do it too"

Doing it in less obvious places with sharper tools, because you want to swim.

Ages later thinking parents are on to you, they don't ask though.

The need to cut but not having enough energy to. Feeling like you can never cut deep enough, nothing is deep enough

It's fine, I'm not depressed, I just cut  
It's fine, I'm not depressed, I just think about suicide  
It's fine, I'm not depressed, I just get sad some times 

Uncomforatable questions from a nurse you have to see because you had a panic attack and scratched your arm hard enough to scab over and leave a scar.

"Have you ever thought about cutting yourself?" From docters you had to go to for panic attacks that can't help because you're not old enough, and you might be autistic. Right next to your mum, you can't answer though, and you stop speaking from then until the end of the appointment 

"Do you think I'm depressed?"  
Uncomforatable 'maybes' and a confident 'yes'

Long months of sadness, where you can't remember what it's like to actually feel excitement in your chest, that might be growing up though. 

The thought of suicide,  
"You'll do it on tuesday"  
Your brain says on thursday, your scared, and it keeps coming up  
"Don't worry about it, you'll be dead by then anyway"  
"How?"  
The scarily vivid thoughts on how that have gone around your head a million times.

You tell your friend, they are worried but don't seem overly concerrned,  
"Why would they? They hate you."

The questions,  
"You'd tell me if you hated ne riight?"  
The answer always yes but you can't shake it.

The friend that has worse panic attacks for longer, that has it worse than you, you don't deserve to be sad they have it much worse.

The week of happiness, see you're not depressed. 

But it goes down when a friend has a joke anbout how  
"We're not really friends, I just said that because you were sad"  
The crush of that weeks high dropping into paranoia,  
"What if that's everyones reason"

The feeling of all your friends hating you now, because they do right? 

Breaking the however long clean streak (less than a week), the sadness bubbling up.

\---------

Knowing the thoughts will come back,  
Knowing the panic attacks will come back,  
Knowing the not eating for breakfast or lunch might come back.

Knowing one of these days might be the day you end it, waiting for that day.

The feeling of maybe you should tell an adult, but you can't...

 

You might not have depression.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this is depression, sorry the writing isn't all that, my hands are shaking.


End file.
